Author Archives: Nelson de Witt

About Nelson de Witt

Nelson/Roberto – The son of Ana Milagro he was separated from the family shortly before his first birthday. He grew up in the Boston area with his adoptive parents and younger bother. He now works to share his family’s story and is making a documentary about life 30 years after the war. http://www.nelsondewitt.com

Return to El Salvador: The Escobars

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For most of the past 12 years I have gotten to know my father’s side of the family more than my mother’s. This is because I usually stay with my father and sister. My family there is very “Coto,” and it’s easy to see how similar we are. When I first met my family, I noticed right away that the Cotos walk the same. We have a distinctive duck waddle that is easy to spot when we are together. The more time I spend with my bother, sisters and father, the more of these traits I have noticed.

Since most of the Escobars are still in El Salvador, I haven’t had a chance to get to know them as well. During this trip I really got to see what the other side of the family was like.

One night after going out to eat Pupusas, a typical Salvadoran dish, we stopped by my Aunt Haydee’s house. As she was talking, I noticed right away that my brother Ernesto and she make very similar facial movements. I chuckled a little and hoped she didn’t notice. I could just picture Ernesto making the same face.

I looked over to my aunt Tita on the couch and there she was, sitting just as I would. Back to a corner, one arm stretched resting on the sofa back, the other in the air supporting her head. Up until that point I always thought my mannerisms came exclusively from my father’s side. It was nice to see one from my mother.

I’ve often wondered what else I got from my mother. Looking so much like my father, I thought a lot of my personality might have come from her. Watching the family interact, I got to see their characteristics. My Aunt Tita and her daughters are warm, fun loving, and silly. My Aunt Dalilla and her sons are more quiet, reserved, and pensive. What a wide range of personalities! I definitely see these same traits in myself. It appears my hunch was correct, I am very much an Escobar.

That weekend was my cousin’s wedding. It was one of the reasons that I decided to go back to El Salvador. In attendance were all but one of my aunts and cousins I had not seen in 12 years. Some of them resembled my sister and her daughter. Others reminded me of my late grandmother. My cousin Cesar bares a striking resemblance to Ernesto. He was there with his wife, daughter, and newborn son. Again I’m reminded of the life I might have had. We danced and laughed the whole night.

Besides figuring out which family members looked alike, I also learned more about our family history. I learned that my grandfather, Hector Escobar, worked in construction and even helped build the Panama Canal. It’s very cool to think that our family had a small part to play in its creation.

Getting to know the Escobars was a lot of fun. I got to see another side of my family and myself.

Return to El Salvador: Exporting Americanism

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“Welcome to San Salvador,” says my cousin as we reach the city limits.

“Now, roll up your windows.”

One reason I hesitated to return to El Salvador was the fact it’s not as safe as Costa Rica or Panama. It is still a post war society, and riding down the streets this is very clear. Most major establishments have armed guards outside; “vigilantes” as they are called by the locals. The fire arm of choice seems to be a shotgun the size of my arm. It makes me uneasy and very conscious about my personal belongings. The guns are meant to scare robbers, but I find they have the reverse effect. They intimidate the very people they are meant to protect.

My first outing in San Salvador was to a flea market to pick up some decorations for my younger cousin’s wedding. It’s an interesting place with lots of people and stuff to look at. I wanted to take a picture of everything, but I didn’t bring my camera. I didn’t know if I could walk around here with it, so I thought I better not take the chance. What a big contrast from my visit to London earlier this year. There, I walked all over the place taking pictures and never once had to think about personal safety.

We left the flea market and headed toward the mall. “Empire state of mind” by Jay-Z was playing on the radio. Less than two weeks ago I was in NYC, one of the biggest global hubs, walking through Times Square listening to this very song. Now I’m driving down the streets of a Latin America, in a country that the world has pretty much forgotten about.

Listening to this song reminds me of my first visit here, 12 years ago. My adoptive parents and I went to a remote village in El Salvador because they were sponsoring a child there. As we walked down the dirt roads I heard “California love” by Tupac Shakur playing in the distance; a song I listened to a lot back then. I remember it amazed me how this tiny little village in El Salvador had the same music as I did. It was the first time I experienced the reach of American culture.

12 years later, I’m walking around the mall I again and I notice America’s reach. Many of the people here are very fashionably dressed. This is not the first time I have seen a culture of fashion in Latin America. San Jose, Costa Rica is also a fashionable city. However, this is different. The fashion in Costa Rica is Latin, whereas the fashion here is “western.” There are hairstyles and clothing that I’ve only seen in the US. When I point this out to my cousin she commented that it could be because of all the Salvadorans in there. It seems they are not only sending money to their families back home but also culture.

It’s fascinating to think that our biggest export in America might not be goods or services, but culture. Our music, fashion and way of thinking reaches all corners of the globe, infecting the people who live there. People in countries where the “American Dream” is a lot harder to come by. People who have to constantly worry about the well being of themselves and their family.

How ironic, we spread Americanism to all corners of the world and then turn away the very people who buy into it.

Returning to El Salvador: The Life I Might Have Had

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It has been 12 years since I last set foot in El Salvador. When I first came, I was 17, I didn’t speak any spanish, and had just met my birth family the year before. My adoptive parents, my brother and I had decided to spend the holidays of 1998 touring Central America. We went to Panama, Costa Rica and then El Salvador. I don’t remember much from back then, only meeting lots of people who looked like me that I knew little about. I had a feeling this time it would be very different.

As my plane made its final decent, we flew past the city and out towards the coast. We headed out to sea, as if we only passing by this tiny country, the same size and population of Massachusetts. Over clear blue waters we did a 180 degree turn and headed back toward land. Moderate winds bounced us up and down some as we got closer to the runway. Instead of thickly settled housing I saw small shacks and green fields. Instead of grid locked city traffic I saw famers on horse back.

I got off the plane and headed toward customs. An agent greeted us and directed us into the appropriate lines. She asked me if I was Salvadoran and with a little smirk on my face I replied no. After sorting through all the days luggage at the only operational baggage carousel, I was on my way. Walking out of the airport I was confronted by a couple hundred people waiting for various family members to arrive. This was a little overwhelming, but luckily I found my cousin without any difficulty. We then made the 45 minute drive back into the city.

That night my cousin, her two sisters and my aunt took me out for buffalo wings. Watching the three of them interact and joke around reminded me of me and my siblings. They seemed so close and…almost normal. Then a strange thought hit me. Am I looking at the life I could have had? Is this what it would have been like if we had never been separated?

Rarely do we get to experience “what could have been.” We often imagine how our lives might have turned out, but to be confronted by it is something else entirely.

It made me question the choices my parents made. El Salvador is still a mess. There is still a lot of crime, violence and lack of opportunity. Did the revolution really change anything? If they had not joined, would it have mattered? My aunts and uncles didn’t fight and their lives seemed to turn out alright. I’m sure life in El Salvador isn’t easy, but at least they have each other. At least they are together.

The Hardest Question to Answer: What’s next?

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Funding Graph

After an amazing ending to our Kickstarter project, people have been asking me “What’s next?”.

It’s a great question and a hard one to answer. How do we keep up the momentum and gain more support for our project? Films are typically done with little or no interaction from the outside world. Is there a way we can include everyone in the making of this film?

We would love to make the filming process as interesting and engaging as possible. This is something John and I have been talking about at length. We have some ideas about how to accomplish this. For example we want to broadcast as many of our interviews as we can over the internet. This allows everyone to watch and ask questions during each interview. We might do this in a type of web series. We are still trying to figure out what the format of this type of show would be.

I wish I had more of a concrete idea about all of this, but I think this is part of the process. This type of interactive filmmaking is a very new concept, and it’s hard to say what the correct approach should be.

Looking for ideas

Keeping to the ideals of the project, we would love to hear your feedback about any aspect of this project. What would you like to hear about? What would you like to be part of? What parts of the story are most interesting to you?

I’ve talked with friends about everything from what the web series would look like to a music score or the film. If you have some ideas or questions I would love to hear them. Please feel free to contact myself or John if you want to talk about anything.

A Week in El Salvador

This week I’m in El Salvador visiting family. I’m going to go through old family photos and build a list of people to interview. It’s been really interesting reconnecting with everyone. I even learned that my grandfather helped build the Panama Canal!

I’ll have more thoughts and photos from my trip in the next couple days. Hope everyone is doing well and is getting excited for the holidays.

Cars, Giving, Salt Mines, and Space Suits: Four #140conf Moments You May Have Missed

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Over the past year the #140conf has traveled all over the world exploring the state of now. Speakers from all walks of life have shared stories of how real time web is changing their lives and businesses. Recently the #140conf took place in two very unusual locations, Detroit and Hutchinson, Kansas. These two conferences were unlike anything the #140conf had ever seen. While each city was different, the people there showed us the power these tools have to connect, disrupt and create serendipity.

The #140conf Detroit began with a day of giving. It was a chance for speakers to help local non-profits better understand the opportunities of the real time web. Co-hosted by Chris Barger of General Motors at the companies headquarters, the small conference room was electric with conversation, ideas and most importantly, hope. The highlight of the day was when one non-profit employee exclaimed that he had to rush home because he had gotten 5 new ideas and wanted to get working on them right away.

That energy carried over to the next day. The conference took place in the absolutely gorgeous Filmore Detriot theater. We got to see how special Detroit is and what people like Jeremiah Staes are doing to change its image. You got the sense that the people of Detroit knew this was their time to shine. They listened on the edges of their seats and exchanged ideas about how to make real lasting change. Detroit is a beautiful city that has fallen on some tough times. Seeing the energy in that room was inspiring and you just knew that something amazing was happening.

After Detroit it was off to Hutchinson, Kansas for #140conf Small Town. Here, too, there was a buzz in the air. One of excitement and exploration. For many in small town America the term ”social media” means nothing. The #140conf was an opportunity for them to learn about the real time web and experience it first hand. They listened to stories of how farmers and friends were using it to connect small town America to the rest of the world, like Kevin Honeycutt who is exploring the role of educators in the real time web. By the end of the day, they were wide eyed with excitement about the possibilities of this new medium and ready to jump in head first.

Hutchinson was the perfect place for this small town event. It’s filled with warm, welcoming people and unexpected surprises. Halloween night we all gathered in costume at the local salt mine. We traveled 650 feet underground into the tunnels that run under the city and got to experience life as an ant. After the conference there was a party at the Kansas Cosmosphere and Space Center. We got to see space suits and space ships that actually went into space. Who could have imagined that this small town in the middle of America could hold such wonders.

Both Detroit and Hutchinson showed us one thing: We have have not even began to understand the impact and potential of the real time web to change the world we live in. Check out all the videos from Detroit and Small Town at http://bit.ly/SmallTownVids. Next year holds even more surprises in store as the #140conf continues to explore the ever changing state of now.

P.S. At the beginning of the year I set out, on a journey, to share my families incredible story with the world. #140conf has given me an opportunity to do that with so many wonderful people. I’m working on a documentary film which will bring our story to even more people. We are running out of time with our kickstarter project to raise the money we need to start shooting. If you have been touched by my words at a #140conf please consider helping us out by giving to the project or helping spread the word. http://kck.st/dlC3wK

A big thank you to the #140conf community for their support and to Jeff Pulver for allowing my voice to be heard. Remember the opportunity you have, and go make something happen.

#140conf LA Recap: Lots of Awesomeness, But Different Than Boston.

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Last week I attended the #140conf in LA. This event was similar to the Boston event but also different.

One thing I loved about the LA conference was the diversity of speakers. Being LA, there were a number of high profile speakers, including Greg Grunberg from the TV show Heroes, recording artist Michelle Branch and comedian Kevin Pollack, to name a few. Then you had the somewhat typical, but always insightful social media crowd talking about using these tools for business. Then there were the surprises like a wine grower and some famers talking about how they were using technology to connect with their consumers. From celebrities to farmers, it was interesting to see how these distinct groups are using social media to connect with people.

I would say the biggest difference was that LA didn’t feel as close knit as Boston. I felt like not as many of the speakers hung around after their talks. I understand it’s two very long days, but it would have been great to connect with more people. Maybe it’s because I’m from out of town, but it seemed harder to meet people. That’s not to say I didn’t meet some really interesting people. I had several great conversations with people from all over.

Video From the Conference

There is a ton of video from this two day conference. I think it is all being upload and can be watched on the 140conf blip.tv channel. Here are some of my favorite talks.

Andy Grammer (The highlight of the conference for me)

Farming, Cattle ranching and the real time web

Social media for social good.

#Squish, a new way to share love on and offline.

Incase you missed it, this is my talk.

#140conf Detroit

Up next is the #140 conference in Detroit. This 140 conference will be a little different. It will be about how to use the real time web to rebuild a city. On the 19th there is going to be a day of giving where we will be working with local non-profits to help them get a better grasp on this social media stuff. I’m really looking forward to helping out and to another wonderful #140 conference.