About Eva Coto

Eva is the only daughter of Ana Milagro. She grew up in Central America, living with her grandmother, not knowing the where abouts of her younger brother Nelson/Roberto. Eva peridoically shares her thoughts and experiences on the blog.

A goodbye for Mama Chila – by Eva

There are no words to describe what she means for us. Everyone who knew her understands how special and particular this lady was. It is hard to say goodbye to a person like that, however I have to do it.

Mom: You were the only mother I knew when I was a kid. You were always there for me and loved me unconditionally. You taught me good from bad and how to be a person who cares. You were my strength in every difficult time, and you were there with me to celebrate the blessing to be a mother. You will always live in my heart, but now I know you are with God in a better place.

Thanks for everything you gave me and did for me. Thanks for all the love and thanks for being my angel, everyone’s angel…Goodbye mom.

Mama Chila – By Eva

What do you do when a person you love is feeling pain? What can you do to help?

It breaks my heart to leave Mama Chila at the Hospital de Heredia today, alone, knowing she is feeling pain and wondering if she will get better for good.

What a brave woman…

Today when I saw her laying on the hospital bed a bunch of thoughts and feelings came along like a big wave, like a sudden and pouring rain… how much I wanted to tell her at that moment, and now I wonder if I will have time to say it to her?

After all, the only thing I could clearly find in my mind was thanks, thanks because she made me the woman I am now, and please tell me how you can thank someone who gave you her entire life and more just in a simple act out of love?

For so many years I’ve been thinking I was prepared for this, but facing this kind of situations is not something you are exactly prepared for… all the feelings of lost and loneliness came again to my heart by thinking I am losing my mother, again…

Missing you – by Eva

Christmas time already! Time for sharing, for good wishes, for happiness and blessings, for family, for friends, for love! God has been good to me and he gave me the big and wonderful family that I now have. I really love you and I am so happy that I have you now, but even though there is always sadness in my heart.

This is the first Christmas since we started the blog, but of course is not the first Christmas without my mom. Thinking about her is always hard, but the time for Christmas and specially my B-day make it harder.

How much I wish to have her every holiday, every birthday, every single day… sometimes it amazes me how much I miss her, sometimes I find myself thinking about her and imagining how it would be to have her. I am sure she would be a beautiful woman, I am sure we would be so close specially cause I am her only daughter, I am sure she would take care of my daughter and would spoil her like grandmas do.

How it would be to have her for Christmas? I wonder… how it would be to prepare Christmas dinner with her, help her and spend my time with her, along with Daniela, Mama Chila and I am sure with other members of my family… she would be a great cooker right? It is part of our family. How hard is sometimes not to cry when I think about her, every tear is a sign of how much I miss her…

I can’t think about how many Christmas, b-days and holidays I’ve missed her, sometimes I can’t think how I’ve lived without her. The feeling in my heart does not fade away, I still miss her same I missed her when I was 3. But I keep going, life is just about that right? Keep going, growing as a person and living with your experiences, trying to get the best of them. I can’t help to feel sad when I think about her, but I guess it means she is still on my heart.

I really miss you mom you will always be here in my heart…Merry Christmas, you know how much I love you…

The way He works – by Eva

Have you ever thought about your purpose in life? Have you ever thought about the mission you have and the reason why you are here today?

Day by day I live thinking about the reasons that brought me here where I am. Day by day I try to think what makes me be the woman I am nowadays. Sometimes I go back long time ago and start thinking about everything what had happened to me and my family, and sometimes I just happen to think about what is coming next…

Whatever I think gets me to one point: God’s will, and watching today at the video of the interview my brother made, makes me be even surer about that. What a wonderful opportunity this interview was to tell others the story.

But also I was thinking to myself, what a great opportunity we had to meet Amanda, Mr. and Mrs. Gross and Cristina that nice Saturday here in Costa Rica. I have to say at the beginning I thought they seem to be very nice people, but then as long as I got to know them I thought to myself they happen to be not only nice people but really wonderful people. As the conversation went on, I found they are a wonderful family and I was so glad to get to know them. Once we went for lunch somehow we started to talk about our story very naturally, one thing brought to another and then we found ourselves talking about what had happened to our family. And there we were, my brother trying to tell the story in a logical way so they could understand, and me, trying to explain with my lack of English how does it feel to have him back. Someway words just went out and it was really nice to see them immerse in it and trying to understand.

After that the idea of the interview came, and it was done….

Telling the story not only identify ourselves as the persons we are, but also it goes further than that. And today watching at the video I thought how the testimony is allowed to be spread out for more people. And then I wonder again: is that one of our purposes in life? We have to talk about what happened to us, and point the good in it, our story is filled of sad episodes but also it is flowed of happiness and hope, and miracles and blessings!

How wonderful is to tell that in the end, there was something for my brother and I that made us even closer; I guess the story touched hearts.

How wonderful is God who speaks and works in so many ways. There is always a message to give, a message to receive and a message to share! Maybe that is one of our missions now, to touch as much hearts as we can…

Thank you Amanda, Mr. and Mrs. Gross! I am very happy that we get to know you all that beautiful Saturday, and I am sure that was not just a matter of luck, because you know…God is working around…

A different Friday – by Eva

I’ve been waiting for this Friday since I knew he was coming. I wake up early in the morning trying so hard to be awake and start up my day, I have to be ready for work today, but I am so exited cause it is not a normal day for me, reason why I look for a nice dress and try to make myself look a little nicer. It feels like you are going to meet someone that you’ve been really looking forward to meet. So I make it to work and finally get there, start my day as usual but somehow is not the same, then my phone rings and I pick up: “Hey there!, can you hear me?” … my heart pumps up! That’s him…” Hey guess what? My flight was canceled and now I will be delayed, I will be there at 7pm your time…” And I think to my self: “Great! I really want him to be here and they cancel the flight! Any way, waiting for tonight is not a big deal” so I replay: “ Don’t worry I will be there!” and the conversation ends with the same words as usual: “ OK, love ya! Bye…”

The day seems to be slower than usual but it turned to be longer! Another call saying he will be arriving even later! I can’t believe it! Somehow it makes me think about the day we fist met, there was no longer day than that day, but tonight waiting at the airport for almost 3 hours is getting close.

Finally he made it! Looking at him walking through the gates carrying a lot of suitcases and a huge box made me think to my self: “He is definitely part of the family, right?” and the next step: hugs and kisses, welcomes and lots of love! I have him here…

Every time he comes is a really nice experience, no matter my responsibilities, the job I have to perform and the time I may not share with him, he is here! These days I wish I could be 4 persons at once, but all the effort is good while we have our singular chats at night, we just can’t go to sleep, we gotta talk! Sharing our life and feelings, always keeps us close, and that’s our mission in life: to be there for each other.

A love like no other – by Eva

Since this is a blog about my mother, as a mother I cannot escape to talk about the love a mother has for her children.

Let me tell you, that is not easy at all even though being a mother is the most incredible experience I’ve ever had… At the beginning it was a shock for me. I thought to my self: Oh my Goodness! I have a person inside of me! Tiny and invisible but in the end a person! A new life, a human being!” Then I thought about all the responsibility it means… but then a feeling that I cannot explain came to me and I started to feel so lucky. What a wonderful gift it is being able to give life! I waited for my child and enjoyed the experience. Every day I saw my belly getting bigger in front of the mirror and as months passed by I finally enjoyed not being able to sit as a normal person any more. I use to refer to the baby as a him, but the day I realized it was a HER my heart started to pump and a joy I can’t explain filled me… It was a baby girl! After a few months she started to hit, it is incredible to realize a human being is inside of you and full of life. I used to feel her little feet and knees while she was moving, we both were one.

I spent 24 hours of labor and finally on Tuesday July 21, 1998, Daniela Sofia Sancho Coto was born. So tiny and delicate, she opened her eyes and didn’t cry. I think she was more interested in knowing what was going on instead of crying. This day the journey started.

My daughter is now almost nine and she is the most important person in my life. Please don’t misunderstand, there are a lot of people so important for me but your own child is the most important person on the planet. Once you have children they become your world. Even if you got home so tired and all that you want is to sleep, you still have to be strong enough to listen every detail she is saying, and listen to her talking for an hour with no interruptions… You still have to be able to think about the homework she brings from school, make her dinner and then exercise with her for one hour more. This when you don’t have a motivation to scold her if she has done something wrong…Finally the angel goes to sleep, and when you see her sleeping you know the day has been accomplished, but then you breath deeply and think, the mission hasn’t finished yet…

I have to say that I’ve never understood much about the purpose of being a mother. As we are developing as mother or parents, we are discovering to ourselves as well and it makes our task even more difficult. We have to handcraft this person and decide what is right and wrong for our children while at the same time for ourselves. This brings me to the purpose of this blog and to talk about my mother. If you think about what I just said it is inevitable to think about what our mother did for us. Maybe she regretted not being able to see us grow up everyday, maybe she didn’t enjoy looking at us sleeping, maybe she missed a lot of birthdays, but I have not doubt she loved us with this unconditional love. I can assure you she sacrificed herself for us, and now as a mother I totally understand her decisions. As young people, we use to judge our parents and expect them to be perfect but the truth is that there are not perfect parents, just parents full of love and that was her love, a love like no other…